More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
I want to expound upon “comedians couldn’t get married” thing because it’s actually really interesting.
Satire was respected in Ancient Ireland. It was thought to have great power, enough to physically maim the subject one was making jokes about. Satirists could bring down kings with a witty enough insult. That was actually their original function. When the king didn’t do right by his people, a bard was supposed to compose a poem so scathing it would raise welts on the king’s skin to oust him (it was illegal for a “blemished” king to rule.) Unwarranted satire was considered a form of assault.
So what it boils down to is ancient Celts being like “These people are too dangerous to reproduce. DO NOT TRUST THEM WITH CHILDREN. EVER.”
You know, I see a lot of posts out there about dumb shit that players do and while all of those posts are incredibly valid, I feel like this is dumbass DM erasure. I dearly love every story about bards who seduce the final boss and warlocks with sugar daddies and all that BUT I think DMs are greatly misunderstood to all be these serious controlling entities who just want their players to follow through with their perfectly planned scenerios. Here’s to all the dumbass DMs out there who:
– forget their NPC names and constantly make up new names for unimportant recurring NPCs when the players see them in hopes that they wont remember
– plan a whole dungeon around one (1) spongebob reference that they really wanted to fit in
– accidentally give two NPCs the same name bc you just pull from a list and you forgot to cross it off
– choose to homebrew everything bc they have an Artistic Vision but the vision is just that you want there to be three gnomes in a trench coat selling sketchy magical items somewhere in the setting
– use the same dumbass voice for every NPC but with different 90s surfer slang for different characters
– make just awful items and make their players buy them (I’m currently working on the “Ross From Friends” tramp stamp of +1 AC)
– realize they only have 28 minutes before the next session to plan and instead make text posts on tumblr.com
Anyway if any DMs want to add onto this with some dumbass shit they’ve subjected their players to feel free
Creator's Archive 