some, once, the worl gonna (INHALE) i aint arpest the sheh. he was kinda a thing and a the shape and L her four. WELL, they coming and coming, rules and out running. temps not to bun, you’re pot but you’re dumb. so do so muh so whats wro aching the. and if you don’t. (record scratch) and if you dont…
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glisto! shoot staa go moe…
it’s a -tsk- and they colder! you’re now, wait older! but the men beg to, judging by the h. satellite. the ice we’s. getting pretty, waters getting might as well. worlds on! how bout. thats the way never get
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glisto! shoot staa go moe…
(random discordant whistling and record scratches)
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glistooo!!! shootn staa….
some once a spare change for need to self a this place. i said ye! what a cons. i could you a fuel mas. we could use a…CHAAAAAY! WELL!
they coming and coming, rules and out running! temps not to bun, you’re pot but you’re dumb. so do so muh so whats wro aching the. and if you don’t. (GO!) and if you dont!!!
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glistooo! shoot staa go moe! n’ all that glisto! shoot staa go moe!
If memory serves, what happened was that someone took a video of a Ukrainian military band playing some other song and dubbed a realistic-sounding version of A Cruel Angel’s Thesis over it. This proceeded to be everywhere on the internet, enough so that the band that put on the original performance caught wind of it, and decided to capitalize on its popularity by actually performing the song. This video is the latter version.
I’ve been working on this for months and the truth is I could continue to add to it forever but I want you all to enjoy it with me
transcript:
Griffin: [as Jenkins] A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins. Justin: [snickering]
G: Are you naming your goddamn wizard Taako?
G: Oh- shit. Oh, god, oh, god, where’d it go, oh no, no, no!
G: If possible, I would love to- to avoid a shitting-based solution? Uh, A, because I don’t want to know what exists beyond the explicit tag in iTunes? [Justin laughs] I don’t- like, is there a fucking NC-17 rating? I don’t wanna- I don’t think I wanna be a part of that. But also- Justin: [crosstalk] Hey! G: I would also not like this scene to drag on out as long as- as a human being’s digestive cycle.
G: [background laughter] Fun show, fun show games!
G: And I think I just described a plant orgasm. And this has been Fifty Shades of Green [Clint laughs], starring four idiots.
G: So the end of that sentence that you cut off was- and I- so I won’t be able to put up with any shit today, but the problem is I already have? Now people will stop tweeting about me that I said one of Barry’s favorite things is swimming in a cold lake on a hot day, and then in two episodes later say he didn’t know how to swim.
G: ‘Kay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive, but the box has died. Clint: That means it’s open, right? G: Yes, with that the box pops open and it has 900 gold pieces inside. Everyone: Yeah! [cheering]
Travis: I get it. Justin: Damn, that’s a good door! G: No, it’s- [yelling] let me finish describing what happened to the door! I’ve been trying to tell you what happened to the door for like ten minutes!
Travis: I tap it with the Glutton’s Fork and I swallow it. Justin: [muffled wheezing] Griffin: What the fuck!
Griffin: [laugh-crying] You’re gonna turn him into a man tube? [wheezing] You- you’re gonna turn him into a bag or a shelf with the rock sitting on it-
Griffin, loudly: What the fuck?! [audience laughter] Travis: Double damage is- 4 and 3 plus 4 and 1. Griffin: I didn’t give Marvey HP!
Griffin: Is the stapler in here? Anyone want the fucking stapler?
Griffin: Oh, Jesus, you love this shit! [Travis, crosstalk: I’m sorry-] It’s your- You’re a fucking pervert! Fetish- you’re exposing everybody to your fetishes! Travis: I’m so sorry!
Griffin: Uh- it is an uneventful climb to the twentieth floor. And, uh- as- Travis: Floor twenty! Griffin: as- as- What? Justin and Travis: [snickering] Floor twenty! Griffin: [pause] We’re not gonna say anything better than that- Travis: Griffin, we have to fight some weeds at floor twenty. Griffin: We have thirty minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that. Did you even think about that?
Justin: I grow bored with this fight. [laughter] Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk] Justin: I’m- I’m casting polymorph on myself- Griffin: Oh, fucking- wow. Justin: Griffin, I’m texting you- [Griffin: oh]because you’re going to need this information. Griffin: Oh my god, Justin. Justin: Yes. [Wonderland music starts] Griffin: Taako’s arms sink into his chest, so that he’s just got, sort of, little arms, and his head gets really big, and really long, [Clint laughs] and his teeth get very sharp, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex.
Griffin: [yelling] Oh, NO! Are you keeping track of how many times you rolled as well? Clint: [crosstalk] To be honest the educational system in Huntington, West Virginia sucks- Travis: Twenty-five! Twenty-five! Four, four! Twenty-five! Twenty-seven! [overlapped with Justin] Griffin: it’s dead- STOP! Stop! You’re killing him! Travis and Justin: Thirty! Thirty-six! Griffin: Stop! He’s already dead! Travis: One more, one more, one more- [Clint: C’MON!] Travis and Justin: Thirty-seven! [A pause as the audience laughs] Travis: His parents feel it! Griffin: You fucking- you fucking- this turtle’s- this turtle’s parents- Travis: [crosstalk] Is that where the turtle’s brother dies? Griffin: -forget about him. This turtle was a successful turtle author, and the words on his books fucking vanish. [audience laughter] You have erased this turtle from existence.
Travis: But my butt- Griffin: [yelling] Come on, I’m in hell! [crosstalk] I’m dead and in hell now! You opened the door! You built the fucking door! Out of wood! Shitwood! Shame on you and shame on us!
Justin, as Taako: Garfield? Griffin, as Garfield: Yes? Justin: I have something I think is really going to interest you. Griffin: [yelling out of character] OH MY GOD! Justin: This is the Slicer of T’pire Weir Isles [background laughter] and I notice that you have a really cool sword. It’s a Flaming, Poisoning, Raging Sword of Doom, I believe it’s called. Griffin: Oh my god… Justin: And- I’m looking at your entire stock and it does seem to me that’s your most valuable posession, would you say that’s accurate? Griffin: [laughter, as Garfield] Yes, it’s absolutely the most valuable thing in the store!
Griffin: [very tired] I didn’t expect it to go like that. [audience laughter] Um- and- Travis: What did you expect to happen? Griffin: [yelling] For you to catch a fucking fish in my fish mini game! [audiene cheers] Is that so- Am I out of my mind? Is that an unreasonable expectation? To give them a fucking fish mini game- Taako makes the lake float, Travis jumps in with a rapier, like, “let’s get it done!” and Dad makes, the- the fucking shit teleport away! [audience laughter] Clint: Welcome- welcome to The Adventure Zone, Griffin.
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