dumbassrights:

me, opening google: inmidiatly

google: immediately

me: thanks. 

xlec:

mariofartwii:

xlec:

astrology side of tumblr….stop

looks like we’ve got ourselves a Virgo…

shut the fu k up I am a virgo

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear:

humunanunga:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

we got a new microwave and i dont know how it works but i wanna see if itll say “CHILD” again if i press buttons enough

have you guys never pressed the start button on your microwave 10 times until the ominous blue text calls you a CHILD?

unfollow if you’ve never been assigned child by microwave

OH ITS A CHILD SAFE LOCK

yellowsuggestion:

yellowsuggestion:

my favourite thing about tumblr is that they discontinued fan mail in 2015 but in 2018, three years later, they still haven’t edited two word out of this:

i wish this was me

bisexualbabyyyy:

Make more male bi characters you cowards

bruhgender:

hickeywiththegoodhair:

miserablelittlesmugbastard:

i love that mayhem is a legal term. like u can be charged with mayhem. its like arresting someone for funny business

the jury finds the defendant GUILTY on all accounts of tomfoolery, japing and generally Taking the Piss

causing a ruckus

wreckfull:

how do people sneak out of their house??? I could be going to pee in the middle of the night and my mom will be like what tf you doing 

girlfriendluvr:

me: please fall asleep I have to wake up early

my body: imm s o fkuchin s Orr;y sorry I didnt;; know I’m trasah I’m hte fuckgng s;;;o sso//rry,,,,,

me: become unconscious please

whoremano:

basement-prussia:

kaijuno:

The real gen z aesthetic is having a vague memory of Maisy mouse in the back of your head that you’ve completely forgotten about until you see a picture of her and you’re suddenly teleported back to 1999

FUCK I REMEMBER THIS SHOW I NEVER FORGOT IT FOR SOME REASON.

What the fuck how do i remember this