Author: katanaclone

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

thatlittleegyptologist:

rudjedet:

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

• The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction
• The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity
• We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either
• Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender
• The gods didn’t actually have animal heads
• Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)
• The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous
• Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

• The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

• ‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”
• While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 
• The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

• The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum
• Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose
• Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards
• Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”
• The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

• While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition
• It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that
• Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

neoncomets:

neoncomets:

I basically just repeat the phrases “oh my god”, “holy shit”, and “hell yeah” and that’s the extent of my personality

that would explain my simple vocabulary and general buffoonery

iartemismoon04:

Kirby has something to say.

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

can’t wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations

oh my god… duel lingo

quasarden:

Shout out to Spider-Man PS4 for having one of the best fake social media feeds

pauliemartins:

gosh i love fan fic authors