parisianqueen:

The funniest thing to ever happen to me in a D&D game was when I’d been invited into an online group, and there was this one guy playing a dwarven barbarian that was the worst.

Now… whenever I talk about “those kinds of guys” involved in tabletop, I usually refer to them as “Dwarven Barbarians” because of this dude – even if that’s not the character they play. You get the idea.

He’d been AGGRESSIVELY hitting on the characters of me and the only other girl in the party for like an hour, but when the DM told him to cut it out, he went silent. Except it was only silent on mic, he’d dropped into private messages to send both me and this girl in character messages. I was copying all this over to send to the group so I could get him kicked out, when I heard the girl gasp in horror on her end. The message popped up on mine a moment later – he’d blasted us both with the same dick pic.

I didn’t even have a chance to react, she immediately jumped into action, and loudly proclaimed “OH! Oh!!!! [laughter] Daniel’s cosplaying his character that’s so funny. You’re very good, you got the proportions right and everything! That’s so cute, how’d you ever manage to get everything reduced down like that?”

And of course the other dudes in the game were like “Oh really? Let’s see! Daniel why aren’t you showing us?”

And I’m losing my shit because Daniel’s muted himself. Then he promptly drops out of the call. We explained everything, which MORTIFIED the other players, but my god I wish I’d been that quick on the draw. She’s my hero.