cannibalcoalition:

“Oh I love roses! I try growing them myself, but they never get very far.”

“Would you like to know the secret to healthy rose bushes,” I asked, knowing that she would not like the answer. 

“Do tell!”

Grin. “Blood.”

The customer paused, waiting for me to say that I was kidding. But I wasn’t so it never came. She became nervous. 

And before I could explain that blood meal is a common soil fixer and fertilizer, she put her hands up, spun around and said-

“Bye.”

You want to know the secrets to a beautiful garden? You better be prepared for some weird shit.