themintycupcake:

I remember way back in like 2013 when there was a lot of asexual positivity on Tumblr and the nastiness of “ace discourse” hadn’t started to taint our dashboards yet. Back then, the positivity around asexuality prompted some interesting discussions on the role of sex in relationships. That is, a relationship shouldn’t have to focus on or even include sex in order to be successful. The pressure for sex to be a major goal of a relationship is toxic to everyone, even if you’re not asexual.

It was an interesting back-and-forth, and I think it helped me better survive the abusive relationship I was in at the time by applying some of it. But after that period of ace acceptance and positivity went away, the discussion just kind of… stopped. Replaced by shit like “no one wants to hear about how you don’t fuck” and other such nastiness. I think it would be worth talking about these things again and maybe it would help us drown out the bullying.