melmoths:

when i was a kid I used to say I was asexual because I didn’t get “real” crushes on anyone, since according to other kids my age I should have wanted to kiss the people I liked, hold hands with them, stuff like that. since I never liked physical contact my crushes were always downplayed as less legitimate.

I felt like I needed a term to describe myself since I didn’t fit in with either cishets or other lgbt people. I just wanted to know i was something. I had basic knowledge of latin and the usage of the greek alpha – “asexual” sounded like a good label to me. and mind you, I didn’t even find the term on the internet. I legitimately thought I had made it up.

i learnt about the whole “lack of sexual attraction” thing when I was around 16-17. most people my age were getting into relationships and having sex and I felt like there was something wrong with me, so I decided to actually research asexuality. I found out other ace people existed through AVEN, I really hated that site and I quickly dissociated myself from it. I couldn’t stand the way everyone thought they were purer than non aces or some shit. still, the asexual label fit and i kept using it. now I just had the knowledge that the way I personally experienced love was not less valid or lacking in any way.

stop assuming that every kid/teen that ids as ace is doing that because they’ve been groomed or don’t know better. asexuality isn’t inherently sexual, especially if you don’t use the SAM (i stopped using it as well and just id as bi ace, and not biromantic asexual). words can have different meanings and different uses. I was an ace kid, I was an ace teen and I’m an ace adult. nothing inherently tmi or nsfw with it.

should we address the fact that many lgbt kids used the label as a way of rejecting their true orientation? of course. it sucks big time, and it has everything to do with how homophobic our society is. but implying that every minor that says they’re ace is just sga and in denial or is somehow sexualising themselves because adults told them to is not the way to fix the issue.